My Old Pal Is At It Again

What’s that, Rich? You can’t speak to defend yourself with Joe Torre’s cock in your mouth? Not to worry, I wasn’t interested in your defense anyway.

Listen Rich, I’ll admit that I’ve perhaps been a little harsh on you. I do understand that it would be difficult to keep readers interested if you came off as a total Jays booster who sees the world through rose coloured glasses– in fact, I’m sure that’s probably a key topic in Sportswriting 101. But Jesus Christ, man, you’ve got to do more than just piss all over everything when you don’t have anything remotely useful to say– which is more often than not.

And dude, I really thought you were turning the corner after Spring Training– where you were obviously grasping for relevant stories. But today’s shitting all over John Gibbons sounds more like you’re just bitter that, by not giving you any quotes, he didn’t write your article for you. It must be tough coming up with things to say all by yourself, huh?

The reason Gibbers locked himself away from the media was most likely that he needed a few stiff drinks to get over yet another steaming mud monkey from the bullpen. You can relate to that Rich, can’t ya? And you know what, it was the right goddamn thing to do.

What kind of message does it send to the players? It sends the message that you’re driving the manager to drink with your shitty play– and not the way you normally drive Gibbers to drink (i.e. dropping him off after a game at the local sawdust-floored steak house and then not seeing him again until an hour before game time the next day).

Well, OK, it’s not like it takes a lot to get Gibbers drinking, but he’s so good at hiding his drunkenness from the public that it must take a lot for him to want to get so shitfaced that he doesn’t want to be seen.

That’s called being a manager, Rich.