Vote Lind! Vote Sandoval!

votelind votesandoval

Thanks to a tip from our friend Mike Wilner on his new, awesome and refreshingly hockey-free Baseball Today program for the fan, we’ve been told of a little vote-trading action that’s going on between Jays fans and Giants fans, somewhere over on Pro Sports Daily.

Giants fans will vote for Adam Lind on their Final Vote ballots in exchange for Jays fans voting for their own Pablo Sandoval—who, frankly, you should probably be voting for anyway, based on the season he’s had—and I say… let’s make this a thing!

More to come! Unless I get lazy and don’t bother!

Fuck Off, Rosenthal

kenny

“We have to see what’s out there,” Blue Jays general manager J.P. Ricciardi says. “I’m not saying we’re going to shop him. But if something makes sense, we at least have to listen. We’re (leaning) more toward listening than we’ve ever been.”

There’s the money quote from the latest effort from an American writer to explode a tiny kernel of possibility acknowledged by JP Ricciardi that the Jays might consider maybe considering listening to an offer on Roy Halladay if they get an offer that makes sense—this time from that fucking Oompa-Loompa, Kenny Ken Kenneth Ken Kenny Rosenthal—into full-blown Halladay-on-the-block hysteria.

Fuck. Off.

This is not news.

I know those maybe sound like the words of a Jays fan fiercely in denial, but they’re really not. This is just fucking tiresome. How many times over the years has Ricciardi said—about not just Halladay, but any player—that “if something makes sense, we at least have to listen”?

Of fucking course he’ll listen! Is that seriously all you’ve got???

<p>The article—which is titled “Jays’ Halladay all but gone in Toronto”, though I’ll give Kenny Ken Ken the benefit of the doubt that he didn’t title the piece—is just a cheap way for Rosenthal to exploit a tiny shift in Ricciardi’s language from statements month ago, get some face time and some page views, and to give sports talk radio shows an easy topic to run with. [Cue wanking motion].

That’s right, Fan590 and your ridiculous fucking morning dedicated to making a mountain out of this horseshit, you’re not a whole lot better in my books right now. I mean, I know it’s early, but could you maybe read a little more than just the title?

Oh, but here’s the fucking bulletproof conclusion that Rosenthal has come to:

Ricciardi says the Jays will not trade Halladay if they do not receive the right offer, knowing that the team’s best chance of competing next season is with the pitcher at the top of the rotation.

C’mon.

Once this process starts, it’s almost impossible to stop. Rest assured, the Jays are assembling prospect lists and preparing to assign their scouts to investigate rival farm systems. Halladay is a goner. It’s just a matter of when and where.

Yeah! C’mon!

A real fucking compelling argument. Never heard of a team saying that they might consider listening to an offer on a player and then not eventually going through with it.

Rosenthal then goes through about ten teams who he figures could potentially be in the “sweepstakes”, and basically concludes that none of them appear to have the right combination of prospects to move, payroll to accommodate taking on the Doc’s salary, while still being a desirable-enough destination for him to waive his no-trade clause for.

He also said on the Fan’s morning show that his immediate reaction was “whoa, this is a reversal,” but that when he spoke to Ricciardi about it, JP said it’s not, and that the Jays have “always been open minded.”

So… ? Then… ? What… ?

Fucking ridiculous horseshit is what. Is Kenny really prepared to look JP in the eye with this nonsense? I mean, provided he was able to find a chair to stand on. Talk to me when there’s something new to discuss here. What a fucking waste.

UPDATE: Ricciardi showed up on Mike Hogan’s show on the Fan 590 this morning to address this tiresome non-story:

“We’re not putting up a sign that says we’re trading Roy Halladay. I think that’s the furthest thing from what’s going on right now.”

“We’re not out there shopping him, but like any of our players, if someone comes knocking, we wouldn’t be doing our job if we don’t listen.”

“That’s what it’s like this time of year, during the trading period.”

“We’ve always said that a) we don’t want to trade Roy Halladay, and b) if we do decide to trade Roy Halladay, it’s going to be very painful for the other organization.”

One Ump Blows Call, Another Blows Jeter

jeter

You’ll have to forgive me if this was made clear on either the Jays’ TV or radio broadcasts, but I didn’t have my Sports Sync Radio today, which forced me to listen to Jamie Campbell and Rance Mulliniks—and it turns out, thank fuck, I’m pretty good at tuning them out. So I didn’t quite grasp what the big deal was when Derek Jeter was called out trying to steal third early in the game, and Joe Girardi was subsequently tossed for arguing.

“Jeter thought he was safe,” reports Matt Gelb in the Newark Star-Ledger. “The ball had beaten him there, but he moved his left hand around Scott Rolen’s glove and replays showed he touched the bag before Rolen’s tag.”

“He didn’t tag me,” Jeter told umpire Marty Foster.

“He didn’t have to,” Foster said, according to Jeter. “The ball beat you.”

Juh? OK, that’s pretty fucked. I mean, I know that umpires sometimes call guys out because the ball beat them to the bag, but… uh… I’m pretty sure most players are going to know that that’s not the rule.

Especially, you know, someone with a solid gold cock like Derek Jeter.

“Jete’s not going to argue unless he’s safe,” said Yankees manager Joe Girardi, who was ejected for breaking one of baseball’s cardinal rules, trying to suck Derek Jeter off while a member of the umpiring crew was simultaneously trying to do the same. “That’s the type of player that Derek Jeter is.”

“In my 27 years in the big leagues, he is probably the classiest person I’ve been around,” said crew chief John Hirschbeck, who was reportedly surprised to see the golden boy arguing, adding, “It would make his actions seem appropriate if that’s what he was told.”

Marty Foster, the umpire who made the call, was not made available for comment after the game, but on behalf of all Jays fans I’d like to tell him, uh… thanks.

Drunk Jays Fans Guide To Spelling Rzepczynski

Marc Rzepczynski

After coming down with a case of left-arm shittiness (actually bruised ribs, but lets be serious), Brad Mills will not be taking the place of the injured Scott Richmond in the Jays rotation tomorrow. Instead, that job has been given to the unspellable one, Marc Rzepczynski.

For you bloggers out there, I’d simply copy the correct spelling of his name from this here post.

Rzepczynski, another left-hander and an extreme groundball pitcher, went 7-5 with a 2.83 ERA, 88 Ks and 36 walks in 76 2/3 innings for Double-A New Hampshire before he was called up to Las Vegas. After two sparkling starts for the 51s—0.79 ERA, 16 K and 4 BB in 11 1/3 innings—here he is.

Oh yeah, it’s pronounced Zep-chin-skee. Or something thereabouts. Let’s all cross our fingers . . .

Boners Up: DJF 2009 Podcast #14 (Guest: Kieran Roy)

artscrafts

Ahoy hoy everybody. Fancy seeing you here. Yes, I’m still alive. But don’t worry, I’m not going to actually write anything about baseball. I’d rather just quietly seethe as Jamie Campbell calls the Yankees’ near-comback against the Jays in New York with all the excitement in his voice of a lifelong fan… of the cocksucking Yanks.

(Note: Thank fuck you suck so incredibly hard, Shitske.)

(Double note: Holy shit, I almost broke my neck doing a double-take at how fucking quickly Sportsnet cut from the game to some bullshit this-was-mildly-entertaining-four-years-ago poker thing.)

Oh, and I’m also here to announce that we’ve got another podcast up for your listening pleasure—and I use the term loosely, considering how things have gone during the last week since we posted one. This week we welcome (I may also use that term loosely) Kieran Roy, a huge Jays fan, and the General Manager—or something like that—of Arts & Crafts records.

As always, the podcast is available at The Score, or through iTunes.

Musical accompaniment: Pussycat Dolls f. Snoop Dogg Bottle Pop, The Thermals Returning to the Fold, Slow Club Sunday, Blitzen Trapper God & Suicide, The Kooks Jackie Big Tits, Beatnuts Watch Out

Hazy Sunday Game Threat: Oh man, you're fucking shitting me

Alright, so I hate being the pessimist and everything but I think most of you also guessed who the game was going to once we hit extra innings yesterday. I was glad to get to watch some of the game but after the heart of the order was retired one-two-three in the 10th inning, we decided it was really for the best that we head out to the park, play some catch and enjoy the glorious weather. Our buddy had a radio with him and you know, there’s something just a bit less heartbreaking to picking out that Jays lost via radio than having your eyes glued to the TV watching every play only to have it end in disaster. It was a bummer of a game. And confusing as fuck, too, with both teams sporting red caps. The Yankees so that they ship another billion units in merchandise, the Jays cause they’ve interpreted our national holiday as Canada Week I imagine.

As if to just give us an extra kick in the nuts, the Jays will be starting Brett Cecil today. Don’t get me wrong, I like Cecil and all, don’t have a problem with him pitching. But it’s cause Scott Richmond has joined the disabled list. No, really. Yeah, you probably already knew that. Something a bit weird about a guy getting a shot at it due to injuries only to get injured himself. It’s even more of a bummer cause, I don’t know about you, but I always get a kick out of Richmond pitching. He’s definitely a guy to root for and his performance this year has been pretty inspiring to watch. Hopefully it’s a short stint and he’ll be back in fine form by the all-star break.

Yeah, no really, it’s all going to be fine. If Cecil gets hurt then maybe we’ll just put BJ Ryan in a starter’s role? And call Leon Boyd up? Nails! It’ll all be fine. Oh, and Cito Gaston had good news about Scott Down! He’s feeling good! Wow! … What the fuck is going on with the fucking pitching on this team? Who do we point the finger at? Has Arnsberg forsaken us or just God?

I guess at one point you just have to throw in the towel and tell yourself not to get excited anymore. I realize that I might just be a few weeks behind most of you on that one. I’m going to have to agree with commentor Berkamp when he said…

:( no playoffs, we’re not making it this year guys.

The truth hurts.

Go Jays, anyway. Give us this one. If only just cause I really don’t like Joba.
Toronto Blue Jays

Scutaro – ss
Hill – 2b
Lind – lf
Rolen – 3b
Overbay – 1b
Wells – cf
Rios – rf
Dellucci – dh
Chavez – c

New York Yankees

Jeter – ss
Damon – lf
Teixeira – 1b
Posada – c
Matsui – dh
Swisher – rf
Cano – 2b
Cabrera – cf
Ransom – 3b

Saturday Game Threat: Jays (42-39) vs. Dickfucks (46-33)

I’d be a hypocrite to take up too much of your time here. I gotta head out and frankly so do you. It’s a beautiful day outside and you should drag your ass out there to enjoy at least one cold beverage in the sun. Sure, I’d like to watch the game. But sometimes, three hours of our life spent in the dark while there’s cleavage to be seen outside can be a bit sad. The Blue Jays have been taking up enough of our time and mental stability lately, we all deserve a quick victory.

Joe Girardi, Halladay likes to get things done quickly. There’ll be none of this runs scored on walks nonsense going on today. He doesn’t appreciate waiting while you futilely go to the mound and change pitchers in hopes of trying to improve the situation. The man has told his wife, Brandy, that catching a matinee show at 3 p.m. today shouldn’t be a problem. And it really shouldn’t. Just send Josh Towers Chien-Wing Wang out there today and once we score a run on him just concede that this one’s not going anywhere.

As the Post’s Jeremy Sandler rightfully points out, things aren’t looking so rosy for the Jays after yesterday’s heartwrecker. Three games above .500. We’re seven games back of the Red Sox. And Cito is summing up the first half of the season as “average.”

But you know what, we’re five games back of the Yankees, current Wild Card leader. So it’s simple really, just beat the shit out of the Yankees the next three games and get back in this thing. It’s almost too easy. Get ‘er started, Doc.

Go Jays!

P.S. How about Wells going 2-4 with a double and dinger hitting in sixth? Playoffs!

Game Threat: Jays (42-38) @ Stankees (45-33)

I’ve got to make this a quick game threat today, which is kind of a shame because, as expected, Vernon Wells is finally—finally—hitting lower in the lineup, plus David Dellucci is up from the minors to fill the important job of shitty DH who frustrates us all for god knows how fucking long.

Brian Tallet (5-5, 4.47) takes on Roy Halladay’s bitch, AJ Burnett (6-4, 3.93), and for those of you who aren’t near a TV, or if you’re watching the cocksucking tape delayed bullshit NBC is pulling with this Roddick-Murray match, and need to follow along, I’ll be live blogging this one over at The Score.

Hat tip to Joanna over at Hum and Chuck for the awesome pic.

Toronto Blue Jays

M. Scutaro ss
A. Hill 2b
A. Lind dh
S. Rolen 3b
L. Overbay 1b
V. Wells cf
A. Rios rf
D. Dellucci lf
R. Chavez c

Woo Work Wankees

D. Jeter ss
J. Damon lf
M. Teixeira 1b
A. Rodriguez 3b
R. Cano 2b
N. Swisher rf
H. Matsui dh
F. Cervelli c
B. Gardner cf